Andy was 16 when her father died leaving her an orphan with $250,000 in a trust. Her aunt agreed to be her trustee. Five years later her aunt asked me to step in. She was worn out from struggling with her niece over financial issues.
I became trustee 8 years ago when Andy was 21. She, quite understandably, wanted the trust to support her and provide her with the life style she wanted. As trustee my goal was to support her on her path to independence and self sufficiency. I also wanted to leave her with a nice nest egg for major purchases.
Andy and I struggled with these issues for several years. Eventually we reached a peaceful place with some give and take on both sides.
Today Andy has a full time job with benefits and a 401K. She will have over $50,000 in her trust when she turns 30.
Our relationship is now primarily one of advice and personal support. I was a very proud “parent” at her graduation.
Standing my ground was much easier to do without the emotional ties. Andy had both a loving family and a third person helping her grow up. Working together we celebrate a successful young woman – independent and proud.